Once a person reaches their forties, fifties or sixties, their parents may have passed away. They no longer have an elder to guide them – they are the elders now. At their senior age, who will guide them or keep them in line? Perhaps they are now the CEO of a company or a manager. Who will advise the CEO? Their habits are now decades old, making it difficult to stop. I was travelling with a few brothers to meet someone. He was a lovely person, until he became a little too open with one of my companions. While discussing a certain topic, he began using vulgar language. My companions queried about this odd behaviour. I said that perhaps he spoke like that from a young age, and he did not get the opportunity to sort himself out. Now at his old age, he is embarrassing himself by swearing and speaking like an irresponsible teenager.
When we were in Madrassa, we had a tennis court close by. A few adult men would regularly come and play, but they were constantly swearing and clowning around. For a young person, that can be a strangely amusing sight. But imagine how that looks in Allah’s sight. His hair is turning grey and his lifespan is shortening, yet he has still not woken up from his slumber and sins? Had he passed away, he would be remembered for this. Had he imparted beneficial advice or spoken respectfully, he would have been remembered like this.
In school, some students are troublesome and become the mouthpiece of the class. They like to disturb and be the loudest of the lot. Eventually, some students shrug it off and mature into young, responsible adults. Sadly, some continue like that and never break their habit. In arguments they want the last say, because they’re used to that. They carelessly disrupt and hurt others. Some carry an attitude wherever they go. At home they are inconsiderate with their family. This continues until the day of Judgement where they realise their mistakes, but it will be too late to make amends. It is sad that some people spend a lifetime heedless of their errors and in denial. Then who will help them in their old age?
Thus, we must break our evil habits before they break us. This is an integral part of Islaah (self reformation). Don’t wait for them to age and settle in your heart, give them up while they are young and new. It will be difficult. However, to continue and pay in the hereafter is a greater difficulty. Secondly, always seek the guidance of a Shaykh, elder or scholar. Continue to do so, even in old age. They will help us to stay guided and grounded. May Allah enable us to reform ourselves, aameen.
— Shaykh Dawood Seedat حفظه اللّٰه
Above is an extract from Shaykh’s talk on 16/9/19 in Masjid-ut-Taqwa, Pietermaritzburg. To listen to the full audio, please click here.